Divorce Resolution

img_0662-2These words do not go together. They may be used by attorneys all over the world along with bills totaling thousands and thousands of dollars, but these two words do not go together. There is no resolution for the death of marriage; there is no funeral service attended by family and friends; there are no grief support groups for the abandoned spouse. There is only the loss of friends and expensive divorce workshops for the shell-shocked bystander whose life was turned upside down because their partner didn’t care anymore. Money gets thrown at cars and houses and vacations and golf games over the years, but why waste money on relationships that lasted for more than half a lifetime? There is no resolution, just death and unresolved why’s.

What happened to the vows that a couple shared as they started out along the path towards their new shining life together? They were words of faith and commitment said in front of family that conveyed their love for each other. Or were they meaningless words, just lies from the very beginning? Those vows sounded easy when everything went as planned, all wrapped up neatly with a big red bow, like a gift under the Christmas tree. But life doesn’t work like that. People get promotions or lose jobs, move up or downsize their houses, children are born and beloved family members die. Couples grow and change with the times, or refuse to be a part of the evolving relationship that comes with time.

What causes a spouse to walk away without even looking back? Self-serving motives, a lack of empathy and concern for a spouse who you went through everything with, the victories and the valleys of defeat. Statistics show that people grow apart when they have nothing in common, and it often leads to divorces especially after spouses retire. Why are these couples not interested in seeking resolution when they first recognize the slow death of a relationship? The signs are all there, just like a killer disease growing inside of them.

But few people who want a divorce are willing to spend the time and money to create a new deeper relationship based on finding new things in common. It takes the same commitment now that were in those precious vows uttered years and years ago. Why waste the time if time is so short.

The divorcing spouse would rather spend thousands of dollars on a divorce resolution with a costly attorney, to try and get as much as they possibly can to line their coffers. Kind of like 30 pieces of silver to betray the very person they promised to cherish and love, in sickness and health, until death do us part. There is never a resolution for the death of a marriage, only the money spent to end it and the tearing apart of everything you built up together. But a lonely deathbed has no room for those meager pieces of silver. Just the loss of promises and commitment to a long-ago love.


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