Yesterday we explored ways of making your home healthy and happy, by removing old junk, opening the windows to let fresh air in, getting rid of the clutter and so on. That’s the first step in making yourself happy….what about the emotional junk that we have accumulated over the years? Do we ever step back and wonder why we aren’t as happy as we used to be? It is the same reason we hang onto old clothes that we don’t wear anymore, or keep stuff laying around because it’s always been there laying around….it’s comfortable and change is so hard for most people. Research shows that the new integrated healthcare organizations like the ones mentioned in an earlier blog, have found that people who embrace change can live at least 8-10 years longer than the people who are mired in the past.
All of us from time to time have relationship issues with spouses, parents, children, co-workers, friends and neighbors. It’s up to us to not let them take away our energy, joy and spirit. A “toxic” relationship with anyone in your life will make you feel like you are not taking care of yourself spiritually, mentally or physically. It is much easier if this relationship is with your co-worker or neighbor, but what if it is a family member?
What is a toxic relationship? That fairly new label means something that drains life and energy. We try and use our logical mind and assume we can “fix” everyones problems and in the meantime, we are dying on the inside, one slow day after another. We ignore our intuition in favor of that logical mind that says losing someone is way worse than being alone all the time.
I have listed the 5 signs that “You are in a Toxic Relationship.”
1) It seems like you can’t do anything right. The other person constantly puts you down as not good enough. The mock your personality and pity you most of the time.
2) Everything is about them and never about you. You have feelings too, but the other person won’t hear them. You’re unable to have a two-sided conversation where you opinion is heard, considered and respected. They will battle with you until they get the last word in
3) You find yourself unable to enjoy good moments with this person. Every day brings another challenge. It seems as though they are always upset with you. Their attempt to control your behavior is an attempt to control your happiness. They turn off the music in your life, so you no longer feel like dancing and singing with joy in your heart.
4) You’re uncomfortable being yourself around that person. You don’t feel free to speak your mind. You have to put on a different face just to be accepted by that person. You realize that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, and neither do your closest friends and family.
5) You are not allowed to grow and change. Whenever you aim to grow and improve yourself, the other person responds with mockery and disbelief. There are no encouraging words, just doubt and disbelief.
The key is to be your authentic self, keep your life simple and grounded. Choose to walk away from the conflict in order to get healthy and strong. Love yourself, first and foremost. Embrace change and view it as an opportunity to learn new things, something we should never stop doing.
The day we stop learning, is the day we die…life has unending things to teach us so open your eyes to the possibilities!